The Thirteenth Man
There Are Many Ways to Support the Team - Some are More Constructive Than Others
Eric Haney
Issue date: 2/14/07 Section: Sports
- Page 1 of 1
Pop pop. Fizz fizz. I don't know what spirit is.
For some, this solemn little ditty is on par with flag burning and not knowing the meaning of Christmas, so please allow me to explain myself.
Throughout middle school and high school, I have suffered through so many award ceremonies, homecomings, pep rallies, and booster club clambakes that victory now leaves a vile taste in my mouth. It makes me retch. I am allergic to trophies, cheering makes me wheeze, first place medals are my kryptonite - I am just incompatible with sports.
But that doesn't mean that I don't help my team out.
No ma'am, I'll have you know that I've played a vital role in every athletic achievement this campus has seen since the fall of '06. Yes, all eight of them.
It is almost like I am an extra player on the field, a player that nobody asked for or ever expected. I might not handle the ball or score goals and I might not be anywhere near the field at all, but I do contribute to the team in my own right. I am the 13th man.
There is a notable distinction between the 12th man and the 13th man - if you don't believe me, just do the math - but they accomplish the same thing at the end of the day. The 12th man is a symbol for the enthusiastic fans who cheer their team on during a game.
The 13th man, on the other hand, is a lightning rod for bad vibes and negative energy. He is a capacitor of failure. He might be in the stadium's parking lot to scalp a few tickets before the game, but he makes sure to go far, far away before the athletes ever take the field.
By whisking away every bit of antipathy and distracting the all-watchful eye of misfortune, he helps the team far more than anyone else really can.
***
Upcoming Home Games:
Men's Baseball
-Saturday, 2/17/07 vs. Howard Payne University @ 1pm & 3pm
Women's Lacrosse
-Monday, 2/19/07 vs. Washington & Lee University @ 4pm
For some, this solemn little ditty is on par with flag burning and not knowing the meaning of Christmas, so please allow me to explain myself.
Throughout middle school and high school, I have suffered through so many award ceremonies, homecomings, pep rallies, and booster club clambakes that victory now leaves a vile taste in my mouth. It makes me retch. I am allergic to trophies, cheering makes me wheeze, first place medals are my kryptonite - I am just incompatible with sports.
But that doesn't mean that I don't help my team out.
No ma'am, I'll have you know that I've played a vital role in every athletic achievement this campus has seen since the fall of '06. Yes, all eight of them.
It is almost like I am an extra player on the field, a player that nobody asked for or ever expected. I might not handle the ball or score goals and I might not be anywhere near the field at all, but I do contribute to the team in my own right. I am the 13th man.
There is a notable distinction between the 12th man and the 13th man - if you don't believe me, just do the math - but they accomplish the same thing at the end of the day. The 12th man is a symbol for the enthusiastic fans who cheer their team on during a game.
The 13th man, on the other hand, is a lightning rod for bad vibes and negative energy. He is a capacitor of failure. He might be in the stadium's parking lot to scalp a few tickets before the game, but he makes sure to go far, far away before the athletes ever take the field.
By whisking away every bit of antipathy and distracting the all-watchful eye of misfortune, he helps the team far more than anyone else really can.
***
Upcoming Home Games:
Men's Baseball
-Saturday, 2/17/07 vs. Howard Payne University @ 1pm & 3pm
Women's Lacrosse
-Monday, 2/19/07 vs. Washington & Lee University @ 4pm
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