University of Dallas News

Issue date: 4/4/07 Section: Arts & Entertainment

The glittering "Crystals Pizza and Spaghetti Palace" sign can be seen from the highway. It seems to be in its own enchanted world, stuck between a Taco Bueno and Murphy's Music, oddly resembling a New Orleans mansion. In order to get to the front counter, one must travel through a long and winding hall, sponge painted into a countryside mural. Greeted by an employee sporting a neon green t-shirt, one is instructed to chose from the buffet options: the "Dinner and Weekends" price of $6.49 with the option of a bottomless beverage for $1.45, or "The Deal" that includes 12 tokens along with buffet and drink for the adult price of $8.89. Or go all out and order "The Real Deal" that includes 24 tokens with buffet and drink for $10.98.
The food can be compared to ARAMARK's Pizza Rustica in the cafeteria; toppings include pepperoni, Canadian bacon, sausage, hamburger, bacon, mushrooms, bell pepper, onion, green olives, black olives, pineapple, jalapenos, and anchovies. The menu also included a salad, pasta, desert, and potato bar, as well as hot wings and soups.
The atmosphere in one word is "scad" - scary AND sad. Think of it as a combination of Chuckie Cheese's and a haunted southern mansion. A kid scented arcade is located next to a dark theater playing big screened Looney Tunes; families gather not to chat with each other but to watch Tom outwit Jerry. If patrons would prefer to converse, a Victorian style dining room/library, can be found opposite the giant gumball machine.
In the center of the palace there is a French gazebo with a magician performing for no one except the goldfish swimming in their murky tanks. One tank was converted into a table capable of seating eight businessmen. Crystal's palace has been known to host business meetings as well as wedding receptions, bridal showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, and Girl Scout lock-ins. On a typical Saturday, Crystal's holds an average of twelve such parties.
Before they leave, customers wouldn't want to miss the room to the right of the exit. Prior to the room is an armoire displaying three shelves of eerie porcelain dolls; if these don't grab the onlookers' attention, a fortune told by the machine beside the doll case will satisfy their interests. Continue farther right to view a room mysteriously out of place. A giant fireplace, carpet, paintings, artifacts, and high back chairs seems like a perfect place for the wedding reception - if your not worried about your guests reacting to the mold or excusing themselves from the odiferous atmosphere.
The mishmash of Victorian architecture with cheap, sticky, plastic furniture and various sundries has been around for 30 years serving the families of Irving. It is an ideal place for curious visitors with a stomach for the absurd.
Crystal's is located at 930 W Airport Fwy, Irving, TX. Their contact number is (972)579-0441.

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