University of Dallas News

Issue date: 11/17/09 Section: News

Media Credit: Peter McDonough Dr. Gilbert Garza lectures at Dinner and Discourse on the reality of dating violence.

On Nov. 10, Dinner and Discourse hosted a lecture by Dr. Gilbert Garza of the psychology department. Garza spoke on the problem of dating violence. Beginning his lecture, Garza said that he wanted to begin by relating an incident that had happened when he was in graduate school. He was teaching an undergraduate psychology course, and one day, a nice young undergraduate student came up to him after class and said that she needed to talk to someone. The story came out that her boyfriend was both psychologically and physically abusive to her, and she did not know what to do in order to get out of the situation. Garza said that the girl's hesitancy came largely from the fact that she did not know anyone else with a similar problem.

"That's the point," Garza said, "you don't know." Bringing up some statistics, Garza said that one in three high school students have been involved in teen dating violence and 20 percent of all couples experience dating violence, as do one in five college girls. Garza stressed that none of this is a failing on the part of the victim and that dating violence crosses all races, social classes and age groups.

"At UD, we are led to believe that we are isolated from this," Garza said, but added that if one pays attention, "we aren't different from the community at large."

Garza then addressed some of the attitudes that tend to lead to dating violence. Victims, he said, were mostly - but not always - female. "Some young men might believe that they have control over their female partner, that they have the right as a man to demand intimacy, etc." However, Garza said, according to the law, consent must be obtained, and "there is no such thing as blanket consent."

On the other hand, Garza continued, women "might think that resolving conflict [in a relationship] is their job, or they might view their partner's jealousy as expressive of love, or they might think that abuse is normal or that there is no escape." Garza also pointed out that the abuser's power comes from the shame on the part of the victim in revealing that they have been abused.

Garza said that many women feel that their relationships give them an identity, that being a girlfriend, wife or mother makes them who they are. This attitude, he said, is wrong. While such roles enhance one's identity, they do not give that identity. "No one can give you your identity," he stressed.

Continued...

Page 1 of 2 next >

Article Tools